Paper 1 Practice

Paper 1 

"Comment on the use the use and effect of formal features such as layout, fonts and visuals."

Comments:

Intro -  Your purpose is extremely vague - where is homelessness at Christmas??  The clue is in the title.  Your audience is also too broad = ‘supporting adults’??  What might they be hoping to change?  Who would they need to change things?    Avoid ‘in the following essay’ (second mention of this).  Can you mention the techniques you plan to explore? (second mention of this).  Don’t forget a flourish.  

Story:  Your topic sentence needs to hammer a clear purpose, it also needs to identify a precise technique that you will be exploring in this paragraph = ‘story’ is too broad.  Is it a happy story?  A romantic story?  You need to be clear to show off.  The image of John should get its own paragraph with D+A.     Beware of retelling the story - you need to analyse HOW your chosen technique connects to your purpose - use D+A.  What type of people do benefit??  You need to be clear.  Hammer your purpose throughout.  Where is homelessness?  Christmas?

Icons/logos:  Your topic sentence needs to hammer a clear/precise purpose.  HOW do these things create ‘trust’?  You need to D+A.  You need to analyse HOW your chosen technique connects to your purpose - use D+A.  Hammer your purpose throughout.  

Background?  color? - you need to be precise:  Your topic sentence needs to hammer a clear purpose.  You need to analyse HOW your chosen technique connects to your purpose - use D+A.   HOW does it make people feel guilty??  HOW does ‘Cold Weather Alert’ create a picture?  You need to D+A to SHOW it!   Beware of just pointing at things - you need to show HOW they work.  You need to D+A ‘just a few pounds’.  Hammer your purpose throughout.  Where is homelessness?  Christmas?

‘Words’??  What about diction or word choice! - Your first sentence is looooooooong!  Where is your purpose??  HOW do they create a sense of urgency?  You need to D+A your evidence!!  

‘Lego block’?  Image would be better - Your first sentence is loooooooong.  Better mention of purpose - but is is not showing off.  HOW does the ‘lego block’ connect to your purpose?  You need to explain.

Concl - you need to recap your techniques.  Where is your purpose?  Homelessness?  Christmas?  You are MUCH too general here - you need to be specific. A flourish would be nice.

This is a 4