Intro - You need the key words in the first sentence AND to properly capitalize the titles - this makes a poor first impression. Be careful with your (non) use of the apostrophe = Herrera’s and Salih’s and Mustafa’s. Your brief summary needs to identify the characters/incidents that you will be exploring - this is too general. Don’t forget the techniques you will be exploring. Interesting flourish needed.
Para 1 - You need the key words of the question and a technique in the first sentence as well as properly capitalizing the titles! This is too general and not addressing the question; it needs more specific detail and connection to the question. You need to analyse a technique.
Para 2 - You need more of the key words of the question and a technique in the first sentence (and the correct title). You need to compare/contrast with a signpost word. This is just a general summary. You need to analyse a technique AND answer the question. More details needed.
Para 3 - You need signposting - and an overall comparison. Where are the key words? What technique will you be exploring? (non) use of the apostrophe?? Correct spelling of the character = Jean Morris (you are sending a sloppy message to the marker). You need to analyse a technique and more specific details. Don’t forget to use the author’s name. Careful not to give too much general summary; you must hammer the question.
Para 4 - Good signposting = ‘Both’. You need more of the key words of the question and a technique in the first sentence. You need more compare/contrast. You need to analyse a technique AND answer the question. More details needed.
Para 5 - You need the key words of the question and a technique in the first sentence. Beware of simple summary. You need to compare/contrast. Finally - you have addressed the question (but more key words needed!) You need to analyse a technique. More details needed.
Para 6 - Good signposting = ‘Similarly’. You need more of the key words of the question and a technique in the first sentence. You have some compare/contrast, but need more. You need to analyse a technique AND hammer the question. More details needed.
Concl - Key words of questions needed! You need to recap the techniques that you were supposed to explore. A final flourish would be nice.
This is a 4