Paper 2 Narrative voice/character

Question: How have writers used narrative voice and/or characterization to explore a social or intellectual concern in the two works you have studied.

Intro - You need to properly capitalize the titles and include the techniques you’ll be exploring.  Your first sentence is loooooooooooong.  You need to clearly sum up the social concern in just a word or two - that way you can use it quickly and easily throughout your essay.  As it is now - it is too long, clumsy and unclear.  Your brief summary needs to identify the characters/incidents that you will be exploring - this is too general; focus on your choice of social concern.  Spell ‘Britain’ correctly.  Mind your balance - you spent a lot of time on ‘Season’ and not nearly as much on ‘Signs’.   You need an interesting flourish. 

Para 1 - Excellent key words of the question and a technique in the first sentence!  Good mention of the author’s name.  Good focus on the technique; keep it going throughout the paragraph (the Wad Reyes section?).  You need to hammer that social concern or your paragraph turns into a simple summary.  Mind your use of the apostrophe = ‘mother’s neglect’ and ‘Mustafa’s manipulating’ etc.  Beware the spelling of the author’s name = ‘Salih’.  Use capital letters in all names = ‘Wad Reyes’.  

Para 2 - Capitalize your titles!!!  This makes a sloppy impression.  You need signposting - you need words that show comparison and contrast.  Focus on the technique; keep it going throughout the paragraph.  You need to hammer that social concern consistently throughout or your paragraph turns into a simple summary.  Good detail from the novel.  Where is your comparison with ‘Season’??  You need lots more.    

Concl - Good key words of questions - but this first sentence is looooooooooooong.  This is a sound recap - did you explore these points in your essay?? A final flourish would be nice.

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